For the last 4 and a half years, I've known your feelings for me. I turned a blind eye to them, which itself was reprehensable. Even more so was my own feelings I seemingly shunned for so long. And now you finally know, but as you say, it's too late, and you're seeing him now. I know I said I'd always be there for you, but this is tearing me apart piece by piece. Each day I feel like this, I have to shut myself off more to cope - innevitably I will end up feeling nothing at all, no pain, no sorrow, not even the love I have for you and cherish so much. This is why I'll do what I have to after your party on Saturday. It's for the best - you deserve a shot at happiness, and should be able to enjoy what you have now. With me around, that won't happen. So I'm going to be the one to actually do the right thing by us and walk away. You say you can't be happy unless I'm in your life, but that will soon change. You have him now, and all I'm doing is making things worse with my uncontrollable emotional outbursts. I wish things could be different, but as you've said, they can't. You've chosen to be with him now. I can't force you to be with me. I'll never be able to love anyone like I love you, maybe this is the beginning of life alone? Who knows. The only thing I know for certain is nomatter what, if you ask, i'd come back to you in a second without hesitation, nor a shadow of a doubt. You mean everything to me, you always will, even if it seems I'm throwing away the good things between us. Maybe oneday you'll read this and understand. Goodbye J, I love you. M Confess ID: hnr440bo        Posted On: 31-May-2008