there's seriously something wrong with me. i hate hate hate talking to people. i can't talk about anything serious without crying and i hate explaining things to people so i say "i dunno" a lot. it's like i just can't do it i can't talk. unless it's something humorous, then i can talk for hours. it makes me so depressed. i feel like no one will ever know me and its all my fault but i can never stop crying ever. i dont want to tell anyone anything because i feel like they don't care or there's nothing they can do or say to make me feel better. when i cry i can't even breathe its so pathetic so i never bother talking if thats just gonna be the outcome. another personality flaw i guess i'm ashamed of is that like i feel like my heart weighs a thousand pounds when i hear stories that really move me. i watched x-men 2 last night and i was crying so bad throughout it, it was so sad. i feel like i feel things so much and so hard its ridiculous. i cry over things that have nothing to do with me. if someone i know told me they were raped i'd probably cry for days i don't understand it i hope i grow out of it. it depresses me so much. also i'm ashamed, embarassed, and flat out incredibly angry about my depression. and i hate my psychiatrist because she doesnt care about me and it makes me so sad. i feel so abnormal because its like i dont know anyone else at my school who feels this sad and it just makes me so angry. what was so bad about me being happy? what was so wrong with that? i just wanna cry all the time and hurt people and break things in my room until i'm old enough to go away forever. sometimes i just want to sleep for days and never talk to anyone again. i also feel like i can't talk to anyone about this not even my best friend because she used to go through this but now shes happy and has a boyfriend and is too cool to put up with my emotional problems. and it makes me so angry because i was there for her for so long. i told her everything was gonna be okay one day and i feel like dying now. i feel like its never gonna be okay for me i feel like no ones ever there for me and its so hard for me to trust anyone because i feel like she betrayed me. she left me out here in the cold and now i dont wanna tell anyone anything ever again. and i know no ones gonna go out of their way to figure me out and try and find out why i'm so sad all the time and why i never talk ever. i feel doomed for life and i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND IT AND I HATE IT SO BAD everyone else looks so fucking happy and if they're sad they sure don't let onto it. I JUST CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL AND BE HAPPY ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR Confess ID: wxhqxfwb        Posted On: 09-Oct-2008