Confess ID : ymhs0mbj
I used to love myself. I will be 30 before I even have an undergraduate degree. I cannot get a degree without devoting all my time to it. If I devote my time to it, I make no money. If I make no money, I have no house. If I have no house, I am 30, with a degree, no house, and no children. 30 is too old to have no money. 30 is too old to have no children. 30 is too old for the career I want to pursue.
I wish it were as simple as blaming my mother. She abused me for years, got child protective services called on her once but she made me tell them that nothing had happened. I am 25, evil men rule the world, and I have had just about enough. I think of the pill bottle every day, a handful, I feel them rolling in my hand, on my tongue, fading, nausea, blackness. I want to escape but I am trapped within my mind. I am so sorry.
Confess ID : lso0pvce
I had a close friend whom I was very attracted to; we went to college, then grad school together. He knows I'm gay, but has never said anything about knowing how I feel about him. One time, we got very very drunk. He got sick; I took care of him for a while, until he passed out in my apartment. I took off his dirty clothes, threw them in the washer, got him to stretch out on my couch, and went to bed. In the middle of the night, I came out to find him asleep, with an erection, snoring on his back. I felt him up and gently masturbated him til he came. He didn't seem to wake up; he's never indicated he knows. But I have a straight friend who I took advantage of sexually and I feel so guilty about itand I know, with certainty, that given the chance I'd do it again.
Confess ID : ae44khlb
My girlfriend is living with me, and sometimes she's just really fucking annoying. She has the week off and she doesn't do anything but buy food, and when she tells me that the cat litter needs to be taken out and the garbage needs emptying, I tell her that she had all day to do it.
Then she gets mad at me.
She also will be mad for no reason, and I know she isn't having her period. Like I'll forget to do something one day, and she'll be mad at me until I do it. She uses sex as a hook, like if I don't do this or that that we won't fuck.
Then she keeps saying to me that there's more to this relationship than sex.
Yet theres other times where she's really nice and cool and I believe her when she says she loves me.
Yet, like the other night, we were getting into the mood with some foreplay, and when I knew she was ready (guys in good sex relationships will know) I go to put my hand down there and she won't open her legs, and I ask her why and she says "cuz"
That totally ruined the fucking mood.
I moved over to my side of the bed and just watched tv. She got pissed and went downstairs. Half an hour later we were fucking on the futon.
It's like I'm always the one who's wrong. I can't get mad at her for saying something I don't like, because she'll get mad and say it's not fair how I can tease her. She's too goddam stupid to realize that when I tease her it's to make her laugh, and when she doesn't I say I'm sorry, and I don't get mad at her. She's 24 and I'm 20, and I'm her first boyfriend, and we've been going out for a year. She moved out of her parents house into the one that I bought.
I keep seeing these really cute girls during the shift change at work and a sick part of me wants to flirt with them, then I'll get a higher paying job so that I can kick my girlfriend out and not go bankrupt, then go out with the other girl.
But then I have a really nice day, and I come home and my girlfriend is happy, then I think how stupid I am for not seeing that she loves me.
It's just that she keeps me going through this roller coaster of emotions and I never have time to settle down. She says we don't talk, and I don't always want to talk to her, sometimes I want some personal time.
Stupid crap. It just keeps coming.
