Everyone makes fun of people who cut themself, but that's not cool. I've had a really bad childhood and life- From my father leaving to being raped by my cousin (with many unfortunate events in between)- I just don't know how to deal with anything; so, I just cut.. I haven't done it for a while, though, and I'm happy for that.. I've gone to see therapists, but it never really works out. The last therapist I had always tried to make moves on me. Nothing obvious, but passive ones like giving me the "elevator eyes" and telling me that a good way to refrain from cutting is to engage in sex. I started cutting when I was 13 years old.. -sigh- the mental abuse came about much earlier, though.. You see, my actions totally contradict with the image I portray. I model, play violin, play the cello, and sing opera.. I'm also in almost all AP classes, but I don't want it anymore.. I hate myself, but everyone else loves me. I long for love, but I'm always caught in a realm between reality and fantasy, and I usually can' t tell what is real and what is not. I wish someone could help me, but I think I'll only be able to be helped when I learn to love myself. I really want to, but, alas, it's hard for people to help you when they constantly want to be like you. If only they knew, right? Wow. This is a pretty good site. Maybe I'll just give myself a trademark symbol so that I can be a different person on this site.. Or maybe I'm actually being myself? Maybe this site will end up helping me. So, from now on, I'll be Angel. I've always liked that name. Thanks for reading, Angel Confess ID: c0jucxso        Posted On: 18-May-2008