God im so confused. I have a boyfriend that loves me so much. He is absoultely perfect. I am so lucky, I could get any guy I wanted. But guess what! Im a lesbian! And i have always been. It sucks so bad. Like there are girls who would die for this guy, and he is sooooo in love with me. Im so sick of pretending. I feel like i have to hold on to him to "stay straight" for everyone around me. I have never come out to anyone. I get turned on by girls, but I have never even met a lesbian before. I keep trying to convince myself im straight, and its so painful because I know I am not. And this boyfriend of mine is so in love with me I could never tell him. Im really good at pretending that im turned on when we fool around, but last night we tried to have sex and i wasn't wet at all. I feel like im heading into a concrete wall. I just want to be normal and be able to love him. God hes so fucking perfect, he deserves so much better than me. But also, if I ever saw him with another girl I know I would commit suiscide. I just want to die. Confess ID: 11evn00f        Posted On: 09-Oct-2008