I look at myself a lot. Everyday I get up, pick my clothes, and go to the shower. I look down at myself and all I see is stretchmarks. My belly is so big, I can't even see my vagina. I have to move the rolls of fat just to see it. It's quite an effort to shave it. I see bumps on my breasts(which aren't big), I see hair on my belly. I've had sex before, and I've had offers for more sex, but I turn them down. The last time I had sex I wasn't even turned on because I was so self conscious about my body. I'm fat. I know I am. I am the fat girl. I've made the decision to start working out, and get the body that I think I belong in. All I want is to be happy and to have a relationship with someone who truly appreciates me. What's worse is that I think I have found a guy who is truly.wonderful, but I am only his friend, but oh God, I would do anything if I knew I had a chance with him. It's funny because he is not the type I am usually attracted to. I'll confess again when I see change in my body. Confess ID: k3jh26bh        Posted On: 26-Nov-2008