I sometimes do the whole acting like I'm happy charade. But I'm never happy. I'm terribly, terribly lonely. I just want someone to love me. Not the stupid obligatory false, psuedo-love of a ‘family member', if my relatives are even worth being called that, the stupid drunkards. I just don't want to have to ever act a different way than I feel or put up a front. I can't even wear short-sleeved shirts anymore because of all the goddamn scars on my arms. I don't want to live anymore, but I don't know a good way to end it all or if I can really accept the awful finality of suicide. I have some miniscule shred of hope for the future left deep in me that I can't seem to mow down. I just can't do it. But I want to so badly. Is having one person love me really too much to ask? Is being able to trust one person too much to ask?
I'm sorry for existing.
Confess ID: yipxgsot
Posted On: 21-Oct-2008