On the outside, i seem like a sarcastic smart ass (actually, that part is true) who is confident and tough. I love to go out with friends, I have a great education and a great job. However, I have an absolutely cripplingly low self-esteem and body image (even though I know i'm really not that gross or overweight or anything.) The fact that I'm 26/f, have only had 2 boyfriends in my entire life, and apparantly am invisible when i go out. The longer i go without a relationship, the more bitter I become and the lower my self-esteem gets. I've been on a few dates recently, but they haven't worked out. Fuck. It just sucks. A lot of my friends are getting engaged and here I am, this pathetic virgin loser with no love on the horizon. "There's a club if you'd like to go. You could meet somebody who really loves you. So you go and you stand on your own. And you leave on your own. And you go home, and you cry and you want to die." -The Smiths I feel that all too well. Not that i'm suicidal or anything, but something has got to give. I'm starting to have anxiety and panic attacks when I think about the romantic aspect of my life and how fucking pathetic it is. Thanks for reading. It feels better to get this off of my chest. Confess ID: kjijhwtm        Posted On: 27-Dec-2008