Confess ID : v31cgy4t
Last summer, after my new swimming pool arrived, I decided I wanted to have a pool party with some of my dear friends. I consider myself a good person, I try not to afflict pain on anyone verbally, I get good grades, and i've never been in serious trouble.
But my conscience is far from clean. At this pool party, with some of my closest friends both female and male, a weird urge hit me. After watching a voyeur video on the web, I decided i'd try for myself. I secretely filmed my female friends changing in my spare room. Some of these girls are amazingly hot. I hid the camera in a hamper, hiding it seclusively from the eye. Even a long glance in the direction would be undetectable.
At the time I enjoyed this very much. I know it was perverted, low, disgusting, wrong, but I couldn't help it. The desire overpowered my better judgement. Watching some of my hot female friends naked would be something I would pay a million dollars to see and could simply have with a hidden camera. I've had these videos for a year straight, I've obviously done things with them i'm not proud of, but I also enjoyed them.
It eats away at my conscience whenever I enter a church. I haven't had enough guts to walk into a church and confess these dirty secrets to a priest. I just hope god forgives me. I don't find a need in burning the tapes, whats the point? I use them at least once a week to jerk off to. I sometimes don't find what I did as bad as it appears. You live once, you want to try extreme things, you sometimes have desires overpowering your better judgement or conscience. I can't live through life without ignoring these desires. I stopped doing this forever.
I know i'm not the first to do this nor the last, but hopefully I can soon find the guts to confess my dirty little secret.
Confess ID : har3a4gx
Well, I'm only a teenager and I have this some kind of problem.I like a girl but when I told her I love her.it's already too late, because she already have a boyfriend.then when I was really sad and lonely.a friend of mine, not very close came rushing in and becoming so nice to me.but this time it was different.is was a guy! Well, I thought at first he was just going to be a close friend of mine.but seems like destiny is pushing us closer together..
We became group mates on making a school project and since it is a sort of institutional private school (means the school is divided into classes of girls alone and classes of guys alone.) I really felt something different around him.and there's this one time that we came to his friends house and he was just so sweet holding me and kind of teasing me in a cute way and I feel like I'm really changing.I always help him in class and so does he.and then my classmates especially the notorious ones started teasing me since his grades starts improving since I started giving him tutorials because I'm an honor student.the naughty ones in class starts teasing me and him singing songs like "this guy is in love with you" and others around our backs.as a result we became shy with each other and we started parting ways joining different groups.well its not very hard for us though cause were both very popular in school. Anyways, I just can't help not talking to him so I didn't mind all the teasing and taunting and everything and again we started talking with each other and becoming really close, it seems that the feeling was becoming mutual and I know that he knows that I like him already.then last Christmas during our school's Christmas party, I gave only two persons in our school a gift.the girl I like and this newfound love.him a gift not expecting that he would give me one.but to my surprise, he also gave me a gift! That I think is when I assume that the feeling is really mutual!
Then January came.and to my surprise.he confessed to me that he already have a girlfriend! A girl name Carol whom he always like before he told me.and when I ask him when did this all happen he said last Dec.25,2005.Christmas day! I was so surprised and hurting.. I wasn't talking to him.I wasn't coming near him and even not smiling to him.I hide when I see him and I was really angry.at myself especially when I see them so perfect with each other..
Everything was just so sad.then on the 21st of January just after our first quarter examination, I found out that I was one of the Top 5 students in the men's department to get the Highest Grade! And my best friend Kevin told me that life has a way like that.when you lose something great.you’ll going to earn something much greater! Although that sounds comforting and all, but everything was so messed up! I started flunking my quizzes, not having focus and my classmates and Paul the one I like also noticed that! My classmates assumed that Paul and I had a quarrel and that's got something to do with his girlfriend Carol..
I began dating girls and even flirting with them especially around Paul.all the girls in school knows about us and that we had a history and also that we are both bi-sexual.and that's cool with my schoolmates cause were both very popular and all, but although I tried to get over him, I just can't, I felt such a strong attachment to him.and him with me…..
Then on the 21st of March, 2006 the last day of our graduation practice…. I ask him to talk to me in a private place in school…. well, because tomorrow, on the 22nd of march, is his birthday so I gave him this silver necklace with his face engraved on the front of the pendant and a message at the back’ “Remember me…Always!†I confessed to him my true feelings and told him that he is really special to me and that I can’t forget about him! He replied and said… “yes, I already know…in fact I know that for sometime now!†I was surprised that he replied so nicely…I thought that he was going to throw the necklace and not talk to me….
Then, on the day of our graduation…on the 29th of March….after taking the long walk and receiving a number of awards and medals, I tried to talk to him but unfortunately, his girlfriend…carol is standing all guard…not allowing anyone to get near her boyfriend or even take a picture with him….as I thought I was not going to be able to say goodbye…He came rushing to me…and said goodbye…and I was just silent…then he gave me a copy of his graduation picture with his dedication on the back….my knees were weakened and I collapsed in tears as I saw him walk away…. My girl schoolmates whom I had previously dated comforted me not knowing what had happened..
Then, on the same day but in the evening, it was our graduation ball, me and my friends sit together as I wait for him to see him for the last time…. Then I saw him…my Paul Vincent…with his girlfriend…he escorted her as they entered the grand ballroom of the hotel venue… I was brought to tears and as the dancing starts, I danced with all the girls I can but still cannot take away my eyes from him… I even danced with the girl I previously liked… M.J. to see if I can bring the spark back but I felt nothing . all I can think about is him…but it seems that we can never really talk to each other…. Finally, the night ended… I saw him for the last time… or so I thought but destiny really have a way to bring two people together… as my friends and I went to the near by starbucks to drink some latte before we proceed to my other friends house to sleep there but when I was ordering my drink… my friends suddenly shouted at me at the counter and said that Paul was calling me! Well, I rushed outside and at my astonishment and my friends… he hugged me and said in a cute way, “Don’t you dare to forget me ok? Cause you know that I will never forget you. I may not always be able to reply to your calls and text message because of Carol but still, don’t forget me!†I just kept quiet and smiled….
That was the last time I saw him… but still I kept on sending him text message even though he rarely reply, and at times I just cry and think to just move on with this girl who really like me… but I think that wasn’t right….
As I go to college…I was surprised that were going to the same university and his girlfriend Carol is going to another university much farther than ours…hehe! I just hope…this time destiny and even my prayers to God will come true…and that the ever-eluding happiness finally came to me! I just hope so!
