Laloo: Petrol price increase hone ka hum ko koi farak nahi padta. Pehle bhi hum 100 rupye ka bharvata tha, ab bhi 100 ka hi bharvata hoon. - in Idiots
Reporter: Why do you take your wife to night clubs only?
Laloo: By the time she gets ready no other place is open. - in Idiots
English Man: How much the earth is far from here?
Santa: 2 kilo meter.
English Man jumped into the sea and asked again: "...In which direction?"
Santa: Downwards !! - in
A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.
"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."
The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman.
"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone." - in Mix Up
A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.
"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."
The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman.
"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone." - in Mix Up
op Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say
10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?
8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that.
7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY.
6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son? - in Family
PROFESSOR : Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?MUNNA BHAI : Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.______________________________CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu NE bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, who Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to TU bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.CIRCUIT : Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na. - in Idiots
The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Daro. These cities had the best drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed down from son to father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in olden times worshipped monkeys because they were our incestors.In olden times there were two big families in India. One was called the Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as MeraBharat Mahan.In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their capital from Delhi because of its pollution. They were followed by the Mowglis. The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished himself on the battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana. But his son Jehangir was peace loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300 porcupines. Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning had not been invented at that time. He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps there. The king sent all his sons away to distant parts of India because they started quarrelling. Dara Seiko was sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent to J - in
AJIT : Robert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?Robert : Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakke maar raha hai.Ajit: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega.Lunch break mein usse phone milana.Robert : Yes Boss.AJIT : (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards,tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai ……. :)(Scene - Ajit get’s hold of his favourite hero - in Crazy Jokes
A software engineer, hardware engineer, and departmental manager were on their way to a meeting in Switzerland. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes failed. The car careened out of control, bouncing off guardrails until it miraculously ground to a scraping halt along the mountainside. The occupants of the car were unhurt, but they had a problem. They were stuck halfway down the mountain in a car with no brakes. "I know," said the manager. "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and through a process of continuous improvement, find a solution to the Critical Problems and we'll be on our way." "No," said the hardware engineer. "I've got my Swiss army knife with me. I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we'll be on our way." "Wait," said the software engineer. "Before we do anything, shouldn't we push the car back to the top of the mountain and see if it happens again?" - in Computers
Berhana shakhon ka jangle garra tha tha anhkon mainWo raat thi k kahin chand ka guzar hi na thaTumharay sheher ki har chaun mehrbaan thi magerJahan pay dhoop karri thi wahan Shajer hi na tha...====wo pani ki lehron pay kya likh rahi thikhuda janay, harf-e-dua likh rahi thilikha jis nay nawal wafa ka adhorawohi pyar ki ,inteha likh rahi thibhala kartay kartay guzari jawanimagar pir bi khud ko ,bura likh rahi thimuhabbat mai nafrat mili thi usay bijo har shakas ko ,bewafa likh rahi thizara uski ankhoon se ansoo na niklaywo jis waqat lafz ,saza likh rahi thinamaz-e-muhabbat mai wo apnayhoay thay jo sajjday, kaza likh rahi thi==== - in Bar Jokes
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen.""Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five." - in Animal